i may not be the best. i may be misunderstood. i know i cannot be that someone you expected me to be. but i am still me. still that same out-of-tuned key.

i'll keepon playing.




Joel.
20o10o88
studyin at Republic Poly
>.lost in lyfe.

my lifeas itis.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

heys,
these past few days havent been dat good for mi...its now wednesday and ever since school started on monday, i've been more uptight than ever i guess...i dunno...is it becos i wan to excel in my studies in poly to make up for the wrongdoings dat i did in sec sch dats why i'm trying so hard now? every senior says freshmen year is the most slack year yet three days onli and i find it hard to take it liaos...i dunno wad i'm doing is wrong...i feel so not myself anymore...where are the people that i need to be there for mi go to? they aint there anymore...basically everyone has their own lives now and i cant possibly go up to dem and say dat i need their time...i cant bring myself to do so anyways...God...where are u...how am i suppose to rely on u if i cant find u all the time...i know myself...i realli dun think i can go on any longer already...Lord i need u here in my life right now...i realli do...

I today watched tong hua da mtv for the first time on the mrt with wan ting and joulbert...quite nice la the mtv...but made mi think alot...it somehow got to the sensitive side of mi i suppose..and that is never good...i find myself havin so many doubts bout almost everythin that is goin on in my life...yet no ans...

thinkin bout all these, i think it'll be very hard for mi to be who i was anymore...maybe its time to put myself before others i suppose? all this years, i've tryin to be as good as i can to everyone except myself...but its sad...its like no one cares...i dun wish to be remembered as jus someone dat u need whenever u are down...i dunno...time for a change mayb? onli time can tell wad i shld do...meanwhile...i dunno...anyway, i think i feel better le ba...cried abit and stuff...sighs...anyways, shant stay up too late liaos...still got another day in sch tmr...mayb update tmr ba...nitex..

still the same.| 12:02 AM

heys,
these past few days havent been dat good for mi...its now wednesday and ever since school started on monday, i've been more uptight than ever i guess...i dunno...is it becos i wan to excel in my studies in poly to make up for the wrongdoings dat i did in sec sch dats why i'm trying so hard now? every senior says freshmen year is the most slack year yet three days onli and i find it hard to take it liaos...i dunno wad i'm doing is wrong...i feel so not myself anymore...where are the people that i need to be there for mi go to? they aint there anymore...basically everyone has their own lives now and i cant possibly go up to dem and say dat i need their time...i cant bring myself to do so anyways...God...where are u...how am i suppose to rely on u if i cant find u all the time...i know myself...i realli dun think i can go on any longer already...Lord i need u here in my life right now...i realli do...

I today watched tong hua da mtv for the first time on the mrt with wan ting and joulbert...quite nice la the mtv...but made mi think alot...it somehow got to the sensitive side of mi i suppose..and that is never good...i find myself havin so many doubts bout almost everythin that is goin on in my life...yet no ans...

thinkin bout all these, i think it'll be very hard for mi to be who i was anymore...maybe its time to put myself before others i suppose? all this years, i've tryin to be as good as i can to everyone except myself...but its sad...its like no one cares...i dun wish to be remembered as jus someone dat u need whenever u are down...i dunno...time for a change mayb? onli time can tell wad i shld do...meanwhile...i dunno...anyway, i think i feel better le ba...cried abit and stuff...sighs...anyways, shant stay up too late liaos...still got another day in sch tmr...mayb update tmr ba...nitex..

still the same.| 12:02 AM

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

hiyee≈
i'm backz to writin on this bloggie again...hmms...i jus wanted to write i guess...so much has been going on...this will be a good way for mi to "release stress" ba...life's been bad bad bad...not good at all...too mani things going on...and i cant possibly write all...haiz...i dunno la...its sad realli...i find myself so pathetic...too many things on my mind now to get it all off my chest...mayb next time i can split issues out ba...guess dats all for now...tata≈

still the same.| 1:07 AM

tryto understand me.

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· January 2005
· February 2005
· April 2005
· May 2005
· June 2005
· December 2005

key of C. o

try as i may.
i can never explain.

key of D. o

i cant' be somebody.
i'm really not.

key of E. o

i know there's.
some time to change.

key of F. o

everything's changing.
yet i don't feel.
the same.

key of G. o

always caught.
up in circles.
confusion is.
nothing new.

key of A. o

i never believed.
in dreaming.
it never.
got me very far.

key of B. o

i tried.
to find myself.
i always.
get lost.

key of higher C. o

no one see.
me rightly.
i'm always.
a fault.

key of higher D. o

i tried to fly.
away from reality.
but gravity.
pulled me back.

key of higher E. o

still i'll keep on playing.
that same out-of-tune key.
that everybody thought of me.